Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Soap is not a condiment
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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