I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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