# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
