we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize