just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
