Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The beer is more important than you right now.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
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Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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