It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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