Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize