You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
