This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
