I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
