nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Even my vagina gasped.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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