I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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