i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
