I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
