I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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