Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
as a side note pls kill me
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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