I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize