Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
