it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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