and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize