we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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