He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You were trust falling into bushes
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
