Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Tornado booty call.. dedication
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
