Kareoke will never be a sober sport
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
