after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
