the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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