You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
thus making me awesome and them whores
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
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..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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