There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
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