Swine flu. Run for my life!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
