i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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