Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
