I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
