p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
