is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize