Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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