Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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