I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
