Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We're like a lot better than the average bears
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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