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I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I need water and some morals
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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