ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
