i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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