she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
