Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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