Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
