a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
