Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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