I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
