I'm drive I can fine osifer
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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