How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
