Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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