I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
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She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
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me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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