Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
