So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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