marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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