I can tuck mytits in my pants
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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