if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
