Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
