what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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