somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
